I finally finished editing my interview with Saffron. Such a huge life even after leaving out sections. Here’s Part 2 so enjoy the ride.
“I had heaps of great adventures up in Cairns. We actually hitched on a yacht all around the islands which was really cool.
I came back because my friend Siobhan who was the heroin junkie died, not from an overdose but she had died in a light aircraft accident. She had given up smack again and was with her boyfriend who was a learning pilot and they went down over Woy Woy. She was just 21. I went down for her funeral.
During my pub rock years when I was about 24 my boyfriend at the time Pete was a drummer and he proposed to me on a harbour cruise, midway through a set. It was a heady time and we never did get married but we’ve remained life long friends.
I got temp work for a few years and travelled in between jobs. I’ve spent a lot of time in Europe and South East Asia. I spent 9 months in Morocco in 1999 and fell in love with it. I went to Spain with a friend I’d met up with and we were talking to some guys who had just come back from Morocco. It wasn’t far from where we were, only a train ride across the Andalusian Mountains which is stunning and you get down to a little town and catch the ferry over. We were only going to stay for 10 days but when we got there I said, I’m not leaving.
I lived alone in a stone hut in the mountains in Chefchaouen with 2 goats, a cow and a couple of dogs. I got to know all the villagers and was renting a room somewhere else but when I said I was leaving I was offered the hut in the mountains. It had no electricity and an old water pump and was a 2 hour walk on a little track to get there. I’d go to the markets once a week and worked on a fruit and veggie stall in exchange for food and I also worked on a hash farm which we sold to the Europeans.
When I returned I met my next boyfriend whose name was also Duncan. In 2002 I took my first trip to Borneo with Duncan. We took off into the jungle and met a ranger who introduced us to a troop of rehabilitated Orangutans. We spent a few days there trekking in the jungle, with the Orangutans coming down out of the canopy, hanging out with us and even hitching piggy back rides on our backs. We went back a year later to visit the troop. I may not have done that degree in Primate Ethology but I feel so privileged to have been able to have had that experience.
We lasted a few years in Sydney. It was a very big drinking scene and it got seedier and seedier. I was smoking all the time because you could smoke everywhere back then. I got to the point where I felt Sydney was not healthy for me. Every weekend in a pub smoking, drinking, watching bands then onto the next venue, all night and day. We took speed so we could keep going for ever. The final nail for me was sitting in a 24 hour pub, The Judgement Bar which when it closes you go down to the Courthouse in the morning. I see the 380 bus go past to Bondi. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were looking out of windows that were stained yellow from nicotine. I said, let’s just go to Bondi and they’re like.. no way as they ordered another beer. I got on the next bus and went to the beach and that was it.
I ended up with this flatmate calling from London who answered an ad for the house I was living in Sydney. Through him I was introduced to his friends who were into progressive Psy music where everyone just danced hard, full of life and had fun. I met my future husband at one of those nights. He was 11 years younger than me, very good looking and before I knew it I was imbedded in the doof scene. I loved it and I became part of that tapestry. Every weekend we would be dancing in the bush and those years were the best. I danced from the age of 33 until I married and came up here to the Northern Rivers in 2008. We had our first child who was born a girl but is currently Trans, not sure whether that’s a long term thing so just rolling with it at this stages.
Things weren’t great and it became obvious that this was not the right person for me. We met when I was 33 and we moved to Lismore in 2008 when I was 37. It was not a good marriage. He was never physically abusive but he was incredible, emotionally abusive. I hadn’t heard the term gaslighting and I didn’t know about Narcissm. I didn’t follow all those terms and I didn’t recognise what was happening. I went from being a really outspoken, gregarious, social, confidant woman to being too scared to say anything. I would jump at my own shadow. I’d be like, well he doesn’t hit me and you start to think it’s your own fault. I had another child with him. I don’t know, I guess I’d hoped we could work it out. Stupid really! You just want to try and keep the family together. He left when my youngest was 10 months old so I’ve been a single Mum ever since. He is Trans and queer phobic and doesn’t support either of our children’s gender identity journeys so we don’t talk any more and he’s no longer a part of our lives which is really sad for the kids. He lives in the same street which is one of the reasons I want to relocate my house. My kids are now 14 and 12. I haven’t had any partners since. The last 10 years have been really hard.
The first thing I did when we separated was get my dream job at Southern Cross University which was a life line for me. Without it I couldn’t have bought this house out from my ex. It was an absolute game changer and has kept us all afloat throughout the huge challenges of the last 10 years.
When I first came to Lismore, it wasn’t my chosen town. I’d always liked the Byron, Mullum area and my vision was that I’d be living up around that area. It was still relatively affordable back then but much cheaper here in Lismore. It was a cheap way into the Northern Rivers. Let’s just buy a doer upper, renovate, sell and move up there. This house I’m in now had no kitchen, no bathroom and we were bucket showering when we moved in. It was very basic. If Lismore was a person, she’s the sort of place that doesn’t look like much. She looks a bit ugly when you drive in and until you get to know Lismore and see her beautiful little pockets and corners, it’s just the plain, ugly girl in the room. She’s also a bit stand offish and shy when you first arrive.
Living in Lismore, my plan was to only be here for 2 to 5 years and in that time I got to know Lismore and the heart opens in this town. Once that happens, you fall in love and I can’t imagine living anywhere else now. I’ve been so held by this town. I’ve never come across a community like it and I’ve lived everywhere. The people are so diverse and here you can be whoever you want to be. There is no judgement and such deep rooted kindness, and not just from friends either. I know when the chips are down in this town, there’s always going to be someone who’s got your back.
Lismore has been through so many devastating experiences and more than anywhere else. I lost everything, literally everything in the 2022 floods and the way the community comes together to support each other f!#king blows my mind in this town. The water came as high as the picture rails on the second story and destroyed our house. We had accommodation with Bronwyn Moir who was very generous and let us live in her home while we rebuilt using 2 years worth of my savings and the kindness of friends. Random strangers just rocking up to help out, bringing food and helping drag all the disgusting stuff out of your house..so incredible.
One day I was driving over to meet yet another builder who cancelled on me again. It was just too much and I pulled over crying and called a friend asking about her neighbour who was a builder. Jimmy was the guy and he stepped up with his brother who was a cabinet maker and they saved the day.
So we survived the flood which I couldn’t have done withoput the support of my friends, especially Beth. Finally back in the house, still trying to navigate the whole relocation, buyback thing which is a constant background stress and just getting onto an even keel when my number came up for hip surgery which is great because I’ve had years of pain with it. I went and had a total hip replacement 3 weeks ago at the age of 52.
Fast forward a year or so and I’ll have this bionic hip, leaping tall buildings in a single bound. I might even be able to pick this house up myself and relocate it. My vision is this beautiful house will be up on a hill somewhere and I’ll be Super Saff with a super house with super views and no more fear of floods but I’m never leaving Lismore.”
