This is the final installment of Natalie’s story. It was a such a wonderful story so I hope through my editing that I have done it justice. I agree with so many of you that Natalie needs to write a book as her life is so huge. During our chat there was so much more I wanted to hear about.
(Part 3 of 3)
TRIGGER WARNING – this story mentions suicide.
Natalie – “I have been doing music stuff up there the whole time, working with senior song men mostly. I helped get funding to put together a music and media program called the Wee Waa Project. It’s still in development but the fist couple of years we gained funding for recording studios and a heap of music gear. We created a communal space for music and recording, archiving and invigorating language. There are 16 languages in Maningrida.
For that last 2 years I have been working at the school. Prior to that we came to Brisbane because Raia was unwell. We left the community and we didn’t know how long we would have to be in Brisbane. She had a lump in her groin. We had it biopsied and it came back clear so it sat there for over 6 months before we could get her in to have it taken out. We were thinking, it’s fine, we’ve biopsied it, nothing to worry about, cells have been taken from it and it’s not a thing, don’t stress.
Eventually when she had it removed we got a phone call the next day….Actually it’s not clear. Raia had Hodgkins Lymphoma. It was a f#@*ing roller coaster. We were so lucky during that time. Raia handled it all so well. She was also young enough to not understand all the peripheral stuff around the cancer story. She was clear about it. She was like ’I’ve got this lump, I’m going to have this medicine and then I’m going to be done with it. That’s exactly what happened. She was 7 years old and she had chemo for 3 months in Brisbane. We stayed in The Leukaemia Foundation Village for that time.
We were told over the phone because we were back up in Maningrida. I looked at Mitch after that phone call and I said ‘She is going to fine, this is fine’. There was not one part of me that reacted with fear. Fear came afterwards but at that moment I felt so clear and I knew deep in my spirit that this was going to be ok. In Brisbane I felt strong and I felt focused. I threw myself into research on nutrition, gut health and all the things that I could contribute to support her health.
We had an amazing Oncologist. She had just returned from 3 years specialising in Lymphoma in London. As soon as we sat down she told us it was a completely curable disease. Everything she said would happen did happen and 3 months later we were on a flight back to Maningrida. Then I fell apart!
Raia is so incredible. She is such a powerful kid. She didn’t lose her hair but she chose to shave it because she wanted to raise money. She said I’m shaving it, all the other kids have lost their hair, I’m shaving it so I can raise money. The Maningrida community put a team together.
For the last two years I have been the music teacher and Arts Co-ordinator at the school. I also have a great connection with the musos and the artists in the community through working on different projects. The music at the school has been amazing. I realise now that’s what I’ve always been looking for and meant to be doing … working with kids. Doing songwriting with teenage kids, talking about wellbeing.
There is a lot of suicide. We’ve lost a few Indigenous kids. We lost a little girl at the end of last year I was close to. I taught her drums for 6 months. It’s a really big problem and that’s work I want to keep doing my whole life because I do believe in the power of music as a healer and a way to help support kids wellbeing in mental illness. It’s a positive way to transform or express that dark place so you’re not trapped within it. You can find a pathway through it.
Working at the school is so rewarding. The kids are great and because we have been there for such a long time the kids know us well. They have all grown up with us. My brother is there too. He runs the tuck shop. He’s like the Maningrida rock star. Everyone adores him. Mitch is the Assistant Principal at the school now.
We’ve bought a house in Wardell so we will get to that someday. I can’t even think of leaving Maningrida but we will.
I’ve been working on my album which is coming out this year. I said that a couple of years ago but then Raia was diagnosed so we had to put it on the back burner. I’ve recently come back to it and I’ve built a good team up around me to help me put it out into the world. It’s been a long time coming. I feel proud and excited. I love the songs. They are all originals but some I co wrote in the studio with Danielle Caruana (Mama Kin) who also produced it. I stayed at her place in WA 2 years ago. It was her first time producing. I sent her a heartfelt letter as she was a friend, we had mutual friends and I felt really strongly about her as an artist, songwriter and a lyricist but mostly about her as a woman who’d walked a path of her own to find her own self empowerment. To stand in her music and her beauty as artist. That had been a journey for her and I’d watched that happen. I saw the similarities.
I wanted to sing and record and I’ve always put so many walls up. I’ve never really had the self esteem or been committed to it enough. I’ve also had three children over that time. I wanted it be a unique, organic experience and I wanted to work with a woman. Danielle is a remarkable spirit. I love her so much and I love what she brought to my music. Musically it was such a deep, brave experience for both of us. We were living at her house which is on the Margaret River so we’d go the river every morning and plant intentions. It was such a holistic practise. We were so stoked. We’d hold hands and jump up and down yelling..We just did that! It was fun and I’m proud.
The EP is under my name Valentina Brave and it’s called Wildflower. It will be released around August but I will release the single before then.
When I come back here I want to continue on the same path. I want to play music but I have dreams about creating some kind of foundation or something where I’m pooling in the expertise and experience of a lot of people I’ve connected with over the last few years. I want to work with kids and be able to help with Indigenous youth suicide. It’s been an amazing experience for us living in the community. I feel infinitely blessed and raising my kids up there is the most amazing gift I could give them for their life. We’ve been so fortunate. We’ve been welcomed into the community, been to amazing ceremonies, experienced such ancient beauty.
The juxtaposition to that is there’s so much accumulated trauma and so much sadness and pain and that mob up there are struggling. Kids are killing themselves and not just kids. We lost our beautiful friend Alice. That’s really shifted everything for me. I feel like…. If that’s not the work I can go forward doing then I’m not spending my time doing what I need to be doing. That’s a strong voice in my heart.
Suicide is such a crazy psychology and I feel we need to be working with young kids about the realities of what that looks like and the value of life. You take away social media, you take away the fickle nature of how easy it is for people to hurt each other. You start to break down the peripheral facade and it’s all just a lie and really cut back into what it means for you to have your own voice. Your voice matters and your voice is important and people care and you’re all going to care. You are going to get to 70 years old and you are going to read your own voice and it is going to matter to you. What you have to say, who you are as a person on this planet is as important as anyone else on this planet. Don’t cut it short! Helping kids find a pathway through that dark place and I know that dark place. It’s a real reality for me as well. I’m lucky I had a strong family and enough to be able to get through so that is the work I want to be doing. Doing the thing with culture and also modern psychology and having this space in the middle. It has to come from elders, especially with Indigenous kids. You are working with communities and with elders and that’s a way to start to influence those deep shifts for kids. Working in their own community and creating structures with the elders about how to implement programs that are going to have an influence. Many programs sweep in and out of communities and people don’t actually get left with anything. It’s a bit of an industry so there needs to be some fundamental changes.
So Wardell… renovating, swimming, music, kids, joy, heart work . Swimming in the ocean with no crocodiles. (laughs) and then I see this photo of the 4 metre shark they just pulled out of the Wardell River.”