“I was born in Greenacre in Sydney and I’m the youngest of 11. There’s six girls and five boys. Our connection with the Northern Rivers is Mum was born in Casino. My Mum’s a McGeary and her Mum is a Kirkman from Kyogle so I’m in the matriarchal part of the world and that’s why I’m up here and have become a human of Lismore.
Mum moved with my grandparents down to the Nambucca shire and then to Bowraville which is where they lived. Her ancestor, Owen McGeary came over and they were all farmers in Bellingen in the 1860s. There’s an island in Bellingen called the McGeary Island.
Mum became a Nurse and one day she went to buy some batteries and Dad was the Pharmacist. He had a chemist shop that was owned by his father Harold Murray, who came from Warren.
Dad was born in Annandale, grew up in Annandale, lived on top of the shop in Annandale and then became a Pharmacist in Annandale. He was a steady character (laughs). He had a guy called Dean Garbutt who worked with him and Dean had a pharmacy in Byron Bay in the 70s.
We started coming up to visit Dean, with all the children. There weren’t 11 by then as the eldest ones had got married. So Mum meets Dad buying batteries, they get together and had 10 of us and they fostered Harry. Harry has been in the family longer than I have so Harry is our brother. He’s the third eldest in the family and very much one of us. I have a very nice sense of belonging from coming from so many.
In the late 70s Mum and Dad bought land on Lawson St in Byron and they built a house in 1980. Prior to that we always came up here for our holidays. Dad would work in Dean’s Chemist shop and Dean would go down and work in Dad’s shop. Mum moved up here officially in the late 80s, early 90s. It just became home. Dad being so steady stayed in Annandale so they had a long distance relationship and they would come back and forth. We stayed in Sydney. Mum was doing the slow venture here. She’d raised her kids, she’d done the job, she’d lived in the city and she didn’t complain but she was like, I need to go back home. Now I get it! This is her home and she loved catching the bus to Lissy to shop.
Both Mum and Dad are gone now. Mum died in 2014 and Dad died in 2001. He sold the Chemist shop in Annandale and moved up to live with Mum. That’s how they retired. Dad died from bone cancer which was so very sad. I had the nicest Dad in the whole universe. He was such beautiful man. His name was Geoff. Mum’s Patricia but you can’t call her Pat. She was Patricia, Patty or Mrs Murray thank you, and with the point of a finger is how she raised us all. That finger had so much power. We didn’t know what we’d done wrong but we knew it was not good when that finger pointed at us. She didn’t suffer fools.
We had a brother Andrew and he disappeared at Tallows Beach in Byron on March 23rd 1989. I was 19 and Andrew was 26. He was a Policeman at Tabulam. It was Easter and he’d come to Lawson St. The ocean was really rough out the front of the house so they went down to Tallows and there were heaps of blue-bottles. We are a surf skiing family but it was way too rough. Andrew had his girlfriend and her kids there. Andrew was super fit and healthy and he was a really nice person and he had a nice spirituality to him. He loved music. The last album he said – Listen to this! was Infected by The The.
They were walking off the beach when someone was in distress and yelling out for help. Andrew went in to help. They think he got hit on the head with the surf-ski because it came back to the beach without the fin. There were reports of him clutching his head and putting his hand up which is really sad. The next lot of waves came and he was gone. It was tumultuous and no-one should have been in the water but he went to do a good deed.”
So Andrew is a part of our life and soul and Tallows holds a very special spot for me and it did for Mum and Dad as well. We never found his body and as he was a Policeman they put out a huge search for him. When a Policeman dies they had a guy come and stay with Mum and Dad who is like a Counsellor and he became good friends with my parents. There was also Sergeant Keough who is still in the force in Byron and he’s a good family friend
The night before I was in Sydney and I had this really bizarre dream. I was under the water. Every single one in the family had some kind of weird premonition. I was going camping that night and it was Holy Thursday cause you know it was Easter and of course being one of 11, we are Catholics. It goes without saying….’And you will be going to church, it’s Easter time’ with the point of the finger (laughs). Anyway, I didn’t want to go camping, I wanted to come home. I got home and my sister Rebecca was at the kitchen table with Dad. Dad was having a drink and he never drank. Rebecca is the next one up from me. We are all close but Bec has always had my back. We’ve travelled together and lived together. I just love her to absolute bits. Bec said – Andrew’s gone missing. I thought he must have been in a creek in Tabulam so I was thinking they’ll find him, but there was a dread. Everything inside my body had been ripped out. I had been reading Doris Stokes and I went into the bathroom and said a prayer for Andrew that if he has gone to have a beautiful journey.
(Photo of Andrew supplied in comments)
We couldn’t find Mum, she was out shopping. It was Thursday night trading. The whole family had come to Greenacre. It was a non smoking house but we all smoked cigarettes so we were out on the verandah. Mum came home in a taxi and she was so excited because there were so many of us at home. She was like, Oh look at you all here. We said – Dad you have to go and tell her. He walked down the driveway and I will never forget that blood curdling, animalistic howl that Mum did and without going into detail, her body wept.
Mum then went into organising – Naomi, Rebecca, you, you, pack your bags, Geoff, get the car ready, I’m going to phone up the Priest. She ran a ship. That’s how she could run a house with 11 kids. We drove up watching the full moon all night and Dad cried the whole way. It was a very quiet car trip. The next day the storm came in and the skies were grey and everyone was searching for Andrew. They called off the search two days later because the weather was so bad and it was so rough and we couldn’t find him. Dad said – Go and find your brother, please find your brother. We searched every cliff, everywhere.
The Counsellor with Mum and Dad was amazing and after a week he said – You need to have a memorial and put in some closure. I don’t know how all this happened. I was 19 and doing what 19 year olds do. I was begging Sergeant Keough though to keep on searching.
We had his memorial service at St Finbarr’s in Byron. The whole Police Force were there. Some of the Aboriginal community from Tabulam came which was so special. They asked if they could get up and say something. Pastor Bruce Walker led the service. They said that Andrew would have a BBQ and they knew that their kids were always at the Coppers house. Andrew would take them all to football and teach them karate. They sang this song which was, ‘On the other side of the ocean is heaven.’ In came this bird and flew around the church and then it went. So that’s Andrew, our beautiful Andrew.
A part of my Mum had to be up here to be with Andrew. She was worried where his resting place would be, how was he going to be remembered? So Andrew passed away up here, Dad died up here and Mum showed us the way with Dad of how to look after him and we were with Dad when he died at home. In 2014 Mum passed away and we were all with Mum. Our poor matriarch of the family couldn’t quite believe she was dying. She wanted to live forever. When I was a baby Mum was bitten by a Funnel Web spider on Christmas Eve. She was in a coma in hospital for days and was near death but she made it.
I bought a house in Invercauld Rd in Goonellabah in the 2000s. That’s what bought me to Lismore. I rented it out for ages because it was my Superannuation plan…(laughs)
I’m a hairdresser. I worked in Sydney and travelled after my hairdressing in the early 1990s. I spent a fair bit of time in Egypt, Israel and Turkey. I came back and with a crew of friends we had a salon in Paddington. We were up on Oxford St in this great warehouse. The back overlooked Manly and the front overlooked the army barracks. I studied make-up on the side and did that for a couple of years. Fox Studio opened down the road so through a friend I met Cassie Hanlon who had just finished working on Priscilla and she’s a Bafta award winning make -up artist. I kind of jumped on her and asked if I could work with her. She took me under her wing and we worked on Moulin Rouge, Star Wars and some other great projects. I hung up my make-up brushes a couple of years ago.”
In 2004 I was 34 years old and I fell pregnant with Evie. My partner was Yohan who was a Bangalow boy. We’d been going out for quite a long time and I didn’t want to raise our baby in the city. ICE had hit the streets and I’d been reading Tim Winton. I had this fantasy about moving to the West Coast. Yohan was on board so eight weeks later we got rid of everything and flew to Margaret River. We sent all our belongings in a container and landed in a great house in Gnarabup which is on the coast. I didn’t expect Margies to be freezing and windy. I joined the Margaret River theatre group and they were very happy I was a hair and make-up artist. I met a great crew of friends over there and then I fell pregnant with Ludo. It was the perfect place to have young kids.
I needed to be a bit closer to Mum and I had to sort out the house in G’Bah so we came back and this is where we ended up. I met Craig and Pete and worked with them in Pomstar Hair salon. Beautiful hairdressers and I miss Craig (Craig passed) to bits. We were all a similar age and it was lovely to work with such lovely men. Mum started having little strokes and because my kids were young I had time to spend with her. I was going through a lot at that time but it was nice to be able to sit with her. I wanted her to still be the smart, cunning woman who could problem solve but she couldn’t so I was crying for my situation, I was crying because Mum had changed. She would still catch the bus to Lismore and sit in the salon and have a little sleep. I opened the salon Velvet Star in Bangalow so I was a little closer to Mum.
A situation had happened in my life, Mum was very close to passing and I was walking down Keen street in Lismore. I had to sell the house in G’Bah. I was feeling lost and incredibly low and a bit like, Ok girl you you need to get a home for the kids, this is where you’re living. I thought, I need to find a girl army, I need to find a crew of friends and I need to get my life positive again. You (me) yelled out to me….’Puss are you looking for somewhere to live?’ it was at the very moment finding a house was in my thoughts. Your daughter Karina was renting out her house. I moved in. It was a great house and exactly where I needed to be. That night some kids rocked up and said – We heard some new kids have moved into the area. So I had Phoebe and Nina here and then I had Franki and Ariel come knocking. Just on dusk these two great women walked in and said – Have you got our kids? Welcome to the neighbourhood, with a bottle of champagne. They have remained my rock solid crew of beautiful friends ever since. I’ve met the best women ever here.
These are my camping friends. We go travelling. Caitlyn and I call each other Thelma and Thelma. We were going out to the Mundi Mundi Music Festival at the end of Covid. We just wanted to support anyone who was putting something on. We bought tickets, got a Juicy van. We had no idea how to get there and we realised we were both Thelmas. On the way back from Mundi Caitlyn said we had to stop off at this place called Carinda because David Bowie filmed Lets Dance there in 1982. We drive there and we were like Whoo hoo ! We’re here!!! The Publican was asleep on the old vinyl lounge covered in holes, the Bold and the Beautiful was on the TV. In our head we’d thought we’d get a great burger and a cold beer. We had this guy take a photo of us out the front. We were having a beer and there was a sign spelt ‘Don’t ask for sigaretts’ I said, We could have a really good night here and meet some awesome people or it could be really scary. We had a photo where David Bowie filmed and high tailed it to Walgett to feel a bit safer. Caitlyn said, Have you noticed everyone’s dog is called Shutup you F#&$ing C#$t?
We saw that Carinda has a David Bowie Festival on the October long weekend so that’s where we just went. I phoned my sister Rebecca, the three of us planned for months to get our cool Bowie outfits and we rented another Juicy van (if anyone out there have a great van for Thelma and Thelma?) and we drove to Carinda. There was a new Publican called Mish. She just bought the pub with her family. We met some great locals. It was 40 degrees during the day and 9 degrees at night. We were welcomed with open arms, had the band Starman playing. I haven’t had so much fun for a very long time.
(see photos supplied in comments)
There’s not much at Carinda. It had a tornado go through last November. Mish said you could hear the wind and then pop, pop, pop as all the corrugated iron smashed through the windows of these beautiful old homes. It’s a bit of a town like Lismore but on a way smaller scale. There’s still some beautiful homes and a lot of great old homes that people had up and left, so they need us there and they want us there. Starman were the greatest band who did wardrobe changes. The festival’s at the Showground, there’s dog shows and fancy dress and it was a hoot. We’re going next year. It’s a great road trip.
Lucky me got a great house in 2019 in Dunoon after I left beautiful Karina’s house. I’d been looking at the coast because I thought I wanted to move back. I was looking in Ballina and the price for what you could get was pretty bad. The kids wouldn’t even get out of the car to have a look. I was driving back from Brunz to Lismore through the back way and wanted to go to the Crystal Castle to meditate as I realised I couldn’t live on the coast and I was feeling sorry for myself. Let’s get out and have a little meditate. Ludo wouldn’t get out of the car so I’m there pulling him by the legs yelling GET OUT OF THE CAR, WE NEED TO RELAX SO WE”RE GOING TO MEDITATE. He was hanging on NOOOOOOOOOO so we drove off cos it wasn’t a good look (laughs).
We drove through Dunoon in my car which was called Black Betty and she broke down. The kids were happy. The people that stopped to help were lovely country people so I thought the universe was telling me I needed to move back to the country. I had lived in The Channon and loved it. A friend living in Dunoon rescued me and she said a house went up for sale yesterday. We went to the house and this elderly man took me through the house. I got the most perfect beautiful home. It was owned by John and Marion and I love it.
I bought the Dusty Attic just before Covid with a couple of family members. I love that building. I thought I could do something out the front and have an art space at the back but I’m not going to get a loan as I’m self employed. Evie’s moved to Melbourne. We had great ideas but it needs to go to someone who has time. I don’t have the knowledge to do what I want. It would make the best youth centre. It’s such a beautiful building. I have family stay sometimes upstairs. It has an apartment upstairs. I’ll be putting in on the market.
I battled with Lismore , I really did and now I absolutely love the place. I’m going to digress a little but when I used to catch the bus in the city as a kid. There was this great piece of graffiti on a building in Redfern near where the old train lines are. I think it sums up Lismore in a way. It says ‘People who love people more than power and profit are the luckiest people in the world.’
All the ‘o’s were people joining hands. That sums up our Lismore to me. I’m up in the hills and who didn’t love Fern Gully and who doesn’t love our creeks? I spend my life in the creeks. I kayak, I don’t surf ski. I’d like to say I bushwalk but I don’t, I just sit and read. It’s been a beautiful place to raise Evie and Ludo. Their surname is Morwitzer. They are really happy they were raised as Lismore kids.”