“We had thought for some time that we wouldn’t have children but then when we got up there, our animals were having babies and we thought it would be sad not to have children so we had 2 daughters Terri and Elke and just can’t imagine not having them. Such a blessing. We ended up starting a nursery that was for sale down the road. My Mum lent us the $500. Soon after we found out the forest was to be logged and in the mix I found out I was pregnant. It was a difficult time, the forest was to be slaughtered, we were struggling to make a living and the climate was challenging. We were very poor but we had no debt so we felt blessed.
When Terri was 7 she was bitten by a Roughscale snake. She was staying at Bodhi Farm and they had a number of snake bites so they had practised snake drill. In the dark she was running ahead of the kid with the torch. She felt a prick on her ankle. The kid behind said, That was a snake, you’re gonna die! The adults did all the right things, took her to hospital and because they bandaged correctly, she survived. When they released the bandage she went in anaphylactic shock. They put her on a metal plate in case they had to restart her. It was a very frightening time.
Not long after that we were in a canoe in North Qld and a snake came across the water and jumped in our boat. I remember thinking Hugh can’t get bitten because the anti-venom will kill him, Terri can’t get bitten because she’s in the same boat, the other person in the boat was Elke who was only 6 so it was up to me. I grabbed the tail and threw it out of the boat.
My parents came up and my brother came up and we all loved it. At that stage I was so unaware of the Widjabul mob and that it was all stolen land. I didn’t connect with it. They brought my Dad’s Mum up from Melbourne, it was either old folks home or you come with us, so she came too. We had 4 generations there and it was a wonderful farm. We still have it and my brother and his wife still live there. We moved to The Channon 10 years ago, various reasons but the weather up there is really gloomy and it rains all the time, that’s why it’s rainforest.
Aunty June said to me, We wouldn’t live up there, it’s too wet and it’s a burial site, you wouldn’t get me up there. She also said, It was good when all you hippies came because it took the pressure off our mob. Someone new to hate and she was so right. The racism is slightly under the surface now but, Oh boy, the comments I’ve heard about the Dunoon dam and the comments from people about what should happen to the area. They just can’t listen to what the Widjabul people themselves say…Anything but listening to the people themselves. Uncle John Roberts, a senior Elder who we knew for a long time died in May last year. Hugh and I saw him days before he died and he looked directly in our eyes and said…You have to stop that dam, direct instruction. He was the one who directed the Archaeologists to the burial sites which none of the white mob had known about before. The Widjabul mob knew but were keeping quiet. He took a risk and thought if I say nothing it will get drowned, if I do say something, it may get drowned. These facts were written into the heritage assessment and that stopped the dam at the time which was 2011. We now have a new guy who believes that sort of nonsense shouldn’t matter, burial sites shouldn’t stop anything.
My Grandmother left me some money so we decided to publish Rainforest reference books so people could identify species. We’ve published 6 books now and they are available in the Book Warehouse. Alex Floyd the amazing Botanist who we became good friends with, his book which was the Bible for rainforest went out of print and I’d been pestering him for years to reprint. I contacted Forestry and they advised me to get Alex to contact them to get permission for the rights to his own book. We revised it and have reprinted it again. He and his wife have both since passed. It’s a fantastic book. We lost half our stock though in the flood.
For many years we lived off the land, we were involved in environmental battles of various kinds. The Terania Rainforest battle was just the first of many. I realised this was my calling, I couldn’t just ignore this stuff. That’s what I do now when I’m feeling depressed about the whole thing I go down the creek and I plant trees. I lost 2/3 of my regen in the flood but in 2 years I started again and they’re doing well. I’m really encouraged by Kristen Den Exter. She said once, Look there’s one site I replanted 8 times just below the Lismore Police Station and look at it now. She didn’t give up and she beat it.
A couple of years ago I had scans where they found the Hydatid disease. They initially said it was metastatic lung cancer so I thought it was the end but another Doctor found them to be Hydatid cysts so I’m on meds forever. A year later they found a brain tumour. I was in the middle of Dunoon Dam stress which was back on the table when we got our Council who are determined to have the dam. Then we got the huge flood which flooded our whole place. It was an awful time. Our property was a complete mess but we cleaned up. I had surgery and had the tumour removed a few months after the flood. Hugh lost 10,000 slides and we lost half of our book stock which is how we make a living, selling our rainforest books. I feel lucky though, we didn’t get plucked off our roof and we got our animals out.
I have 6 grandchildren and also had a foster kid in the middle of this. She lives in The Channon now with her daughter. It’s so good having them in our life.
Early on I always thought, it’s not enough just to love things, you have to fight for them because they’ll disappear on you. My parents also instilled that in me, you have to do something and if not then who? The natural world in many places is in collapse around us. It’s not enough just to love it, even though it can be so stressful to fight for it. I still feel enormously stressed by things I’m fighting for like the Dunoon Dam and the effect that will have on the local Widjabul people and the natural site where the dam would be. I can’t give up and yet I still feel guilty on all the other issues I’m not fighting for like Koalas, forests in general. There’s just a limit in what you can do. I guess you just have to be happy with what you can do, even if it’s never enough. I constantly have young people say, How do you keep going? I say, It’s just desperation and half the time I’m in despair but you just need a couple of little wins to get your energy back. I’m very encouraged by the number of young people coming along.
I’ve always felt strongly that we have to speak up for those that have no voice. It’s a really hard thing to keep going all these years but I still believe in it. It’s harder now than ever before. It’s very hard to stay buoyant. I’m just grateful for what I’ve got. I have a right to be here, I have a good community, good relationships, reasonably good health and things to do. Hugh Mackay once said…Someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to. Another quote from the Dalai Lama is – ‘It is enough to be happy and do useful work’. That’s what has always driven me to do useful work. It can attract criticism and even though I don’t respect those people who so readily criticise, it still bites.”
