‘Marlena has recently been told she is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s. When I did this interview Marlena said she wanted to tell her story about her life before she forgets. Marlena is still so active. She does Yoga every day and had a brown belt in Judo when she was young.’
Marlena – “On the 9/9/37 I was born in New Zealand. I’m the oldest of 9 children. As the eldest I had to do all the work and fortunately I love challenges and I love work. I started young with a very good diet as we grew acres of vegetables and I am still the same. My earliest memory is 4 years old taking the milk down to give to Dad. At 7 I went with my father on the truck selling fruit and vegetables. If people didn’t come to the truck I would have to go to their homes and take their order then deliver it, sometimes down very long roads. I am still very strong physically still from carrying such heavy loads.
My mother is Maori and my father is Chinese, well I think he’s my father. I suspected when I was just a teenager that he wasn’t my father. My sister told me that while dad was doing a delivery he played up. She said, Sis you are different to all of us! You look, act, behave, everything differently to the rest of us! Apparently there was another man involved and I have always suspected it.
My Grandfather was a Shaman and head of a tribe. He used to walk with an owl on his shoulder and the owl would give him messages. He was also a Lawyer and involved in politics.
One morning when I was 10 my mother woke me, it was still dark so very early. She was saying Marlena, Marlena, wake up, get dressed quickly, you need to go to your Grandfathers. Your father is going to kill you. It was a lie but I didn’t know and I was so frightened. She threw one outfit and 10 shillings in my bag and I walked in the pitch black dark for a long time. When a car came I hid in the grass and it took so long. I was terrified someone would get me. I was always very cautious as we had never mixed with people outside. After walking I had to get on a boat and then a bus to my cousins place. She took me down to my grandfathers in Tauranga. I still to this day don’t know my mother gave me away. Apparently when I left my siblings didn’t even know I was missing, including my sister who I shared a bed with. That’s what they told me anyway so I never felt like I belonged to anyone.
My Grandfather put me into the college and he bought my uniform. Queen Elizabeth was coming to NZ who was still Princess then I think. My Grandfather went down to greet her and when a Maori greets they rub noses so he has rubbed noses with the Queen. I thought the world of him and he was kind to me. I got very ill with asthma after two years so my grandfather called my mother and said I needed to go back there. She picked me up and I couldn’t even look at her. I never spoke a word for a long time.
At 17 I started working at a bank. I was excellent with Maths and because I excelled with figures my teacher suggested I apply for the bank position. A lot of people applied for the job who were uni graduates but I got the job. My mother made me give her half my wage which was very minimal anyway. She kept having babies so I had to buy their clothes. I was used up.
I met my first husband who ended up being terrible. I knew nothing about how you have a baby, nothing about sex until I met my first husband. We married and then I never saw him. I was 21 when my first child was born and I never saw him. I had another child and still he would not come home. He spent all his time away and I was naive. We had more children as I didn’t know how to leave and I had no money and he would just come home to make babies.
We came to Australia and I wasn’t happy. By this stage at 27 years of age I had 5 kids. I eventually left him in Australia and took 5 children back to NZ. I was met at the wharf and I still get emotional thinking about arriving with all these children on my own. My sister had a house and she let us stay there. My husband decided after 2 weeks to come back too but he wasn’t paying maintenance and he was no good. His mother didn’t like me because I had coloured blood. I never forgot the awful things she said about me but I was very shy and didn’t know how to stand up for myself. We moved down to Wellington and I got a job back in the bank in a managerial position. I was still so very shy and I was in a boss position. My husband was a gambler so he was spending all our money on horses and staying out late. I still stayed with him and my boss got me a home for $12 a week because he felt sorry for me and I was such a good worker. It was a nice house and across the road was a place to swim. I was there for 5 years. I eventually got a job in Upper Hut and I left my husband. I told him he is free to go. He lived the life of a reckless single man. The day after he wanted to come back but that was it. I’d had enough.
Years later I met Peter an Englishman and he went to Australia. I followed first to check if it would work for me and the kids. I went, got a job and slowly all the kids came over. One of my daughters and one son were already in Australia by this stage. Another daughter was living and working in London and the other one came over. Peter became my second husband and we had a daughter. We were married for 38 years. He passed away 2 years ago.
He was a gentle person but the saddest thing was he thought everything was woman’s work, absolutely everything. I mowed the lawns, dug up the gardens, physically built homes, tied a rope around my waist to climb ladders so I could paint the top story and not blow away and he would just watch. I laid a concrete driveway on my own. If I didn’t do it no-one would so I just got on with it.
I’ve eaten organic for as long as I can remember. I never drank alcohol. No tea or coffee, only water all my life. I’ve done yoga everyday for nearly all my life. I don’t have a lot to do with some of my kids as that’s just the way it’s turned out sadly. I’m close to my sons.
In 1981 I started a business selling beautiful hand knitted garments from France. I had Myers, David Jones and other department stores buying samples. The business was called Annie Blatt. I chose all the patterns and found the knitters to make them. They are beautiful but I don’t wear them now. I have nowhere to go. We were in the business for 8 years and sold. Over the years I bought houses, did them up and sold them.
My granddaughter was visiting. She took me to see someone who said that I need to move out of my home here in Alstonville very soon because my Alzheimers will happen quite quickly. I am starting to write things down and recently I was looking everywhere for my bumbag and I was wearing it. I spent so long looking for it. I can feel it in my spirit that I’m in the early phase. I’m moving to Sydney to be near my granddaughter so I’ll be close to family. We went out for my 82nd birthday and it was mixed emotions because I knew I had to move to Sydney and I love it up here. When it comes time I will probably have to go into a home. I’m not scared.”