Trigger Warning – This story mentions domestic violence and suicide.
Jasmine – “I moved to Lismore with my family when I was 12 and went to Richmond River High School. Prior to that we lived in Glen Innes which has given me a love of granite country. We lived for some time in Sydney too. When we lived in Glen Innes my parents were market gardeners and we sold fruit and vegies to the local hospital. We even grew our own wheat to make bread. I would get up at 5am to milk the goats. My then step-father was a powder (explosives) man so the clearest memories of my childhood are blowing stuff up. I’ve had a few jobs! I was the coordinator of Meals on Wheels in Sydney and I also managed an Internet service provider.
My step dad Fred Cole has a piano repair business. He’s a local composer, musician, lecturer and piano tuner. I have worked with him on and off since I was 15. I still sometimes work fixing pianos. We have around 50 or more pianos in the workshop at any one time.
My parents separated when I was very young. My biological father died. I have had 3 fathers. My father who passed away, my sister’s father who was my first stepdad and my second stepdad who is Fred. They have all nagged me and supported me over the years, I love them all, so they are all my father.
I had my first daughter when I was 22 and my second daughter at 24. I was a stay at home mum for quite a while, and sadly their father passed away in 2007.
I’ve put my hand up to run in the 2019 state election for pre selection for the Labor party. I think that there needs to be change. There needs to be someone who cares about the community, not just Lismore but the surrounds as well and who will put in the time to fight for the things we need. For instance, there is no Palliative Care at Lismore Base Hospital and there are only around 9 beds at St Vincents. We have this massive, beautiful hospital that we got funding to build and some of it isn’t even open. It’s an under staffed, under resourced fancy building which is supposed to service 180,000 people. I think it has around 260 beds which is ridiculous. I also think Lismore needs a world class library that is open till 9pm so students can study there. A lot of kids study at SCU but during semester break it’s not open. What happens if you are a child who lives in a crowded home or share a room. There is this assumption that everybody has the internet at home which just isn’t the case.
I’m suddenly sounding like a boring person in this interview! I just think that this area has so much potential. 25% are classified as low income which is huge. We have a lot of people on contracts rather than full time employment which means no holiday pay, no sick pay, etc. We need to attract industry to the area. Faster internet will certainly help that.
My mother is such an inspiration to me. She manages a domestic violence service in Lismore which provides housing and support services to women and children. She is a smart hardworking woman.
I have two units left until I finish my law degree. I think I may be one of the longest at SCU to complete my degree. It’s taken me 14 years but in the meantime I have survived uterine cancer, the death of my ex-partner and my sister! Do people cry often when talking to you?
My life has been severely impacted by mental health issues, it’s a subject very important to me. My father committed suicide, my sister committed suicide and the father of my children committed suicide. I was 15 when my father passed away. My sister had cluster headaches that spiralled into depression due to the constant pain. She also had chronic fatigue so she felt like an outsider because she spent so much time asleep. She was only 22. She was 7 years younger than me.
My ex-partner was violent. It is one of the reasons I want to stand – but I also don’t want to be seen as a victim. I am an intelligent, funny woman but I have had a lot of tragedy in my life. I was very young and I didn’t understand mental health issues. He was many people. He was beautiful, loving and caring, smart and so interesting. He was fascinated with the natural world, an amazing cook and all of those fabulous things. He wasn’t malicious but sometimes he just snapped and it was frightening. He broke my back in 3 places, he broke my arm and a whole lot of other stuff. The violence went on for about 6 years.
In retrospect of course I was scared but I was actually more confused, than scared. I loved him. Most of the violence happened after I first left him and actually I was petrified. He didn’t cope. He didn’t drink, it was just mental illness. My 3 year-old daughter was the one who called the ambulance when he broke my back. I was paralysed, I couldn’t stand and I ended up in hospital for a long time. He left me on the ground and I had to drag myself along the ground with my hands. It was a wall phone and I couldn’t reach so I got her to call 000. She was just a little child. I feel she is scarred forever. I carry a lot of guilt that I didn’t protect my children from that.
He wasn’t violent if I didn’t make eye contact with him. He had to be able to blame me for any violence that happened. If I didn’t look at him and engage at all then he wouldn’t hurt me. It was like an unwritten rule. I felt so trapped. I didn’t want to tell anybody because then I would have to admit that I was a victim and I didn’t want anybody to think of me like that. I told a few people I’d fallen off a horse when my back was broken – it seemed easier at the time.
As the years go by I have become more open about stuff and not so concerned about that time of my life. I don’t want to be defined by that. Lets face it! Violence takes 10 minutes. I don’t want to be trapped by that 10 minutes. My life is so much bigger.
My daughters are both grown now, going to Uni, they are beautiful and they’re caring. But I don’t know if you ever fully recover – from witnessing stuff like that as a child.
After the breakup, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer, and from diagnosis to hysterectomy it was only 2 weeks. It was picked up by a Pap Smear and it was bad. That was pretty horrifying as I was only 28.
After working in technology for many years I met the beautiful Alex who also works in technology. He has the Apple shop here in downtown Lismore. We both share a love of Photography and driving. He’s a giant, gentle, loving man. He’s a solid rock and so calm. I’m very lucky, and he loves my girls. At the moment we have a map of the NSW tablelands and we’re trying to drive every single road. Every time we drive a road we mark it on our map. A lot of roads we have done many times because they are so lovely, the map is getting so full!
I am an avid bird photographer. I love taking photos of birds. I know where there is nearby a Wedge-tailed Eagle nest. Over the period of 6 weeks I got heaps of photos of the fledgling as it grew. Next nesting season I hope to go back.
I’m currently organising the Seniors Expo which will be on at the Workers Club on the 7th April, which covers aged care, financial planning, health, retirement, care homes, camping, TAG, the importance of having a will and lots more. Its super informative.
I love how diverse Lismore is, everybody and everything. It’s so beautiful. We are so blessed and lucky to live in such a magnificent part of the world. We just need better facilities, a better staffed hospital and more sustainable industry. I have two beautiful children, one at SCU in Lismore and one at QUT in Brisbane and I want them to make their futures here. For them to do that this town needs to be thriving.”
1800RESPECT – Australia wide domestic violence helpline
131114 – Lifeline Australia. Crisis Support and Suicide Prevention.