“ I had finally gone into a vocation in NZ I was really interested and then all of a sudden I was the Executor of an estate, I had no Mum, a younger sister and we had to pick up the pieces. My sister Ruby was there when Mum died. She had just played Mum’s song..Take it to the limit by The Eagles. Ruby went out to have a cigarette on the verandah and while she was out Mum fell on the floor and died. Ruby had to come and take Mum’s rings off her fingers before they put her in a body bag and took her away. The whole party worked on her, including a few nurses who were there, so my sister went through that and I got back 2 days later. It was horrendous.
It took me 4 years to get my feet back on the ground after that to try and work out what the world meant because she was such a large part of it and to my connection to this area. I didn’t realise how huge that was. Mum was such a social, connected person that I didn’t really have to do anything, I just had to live beside her. As soon as she was gone it was like all that connection disappeared.
I went back to NZ four years after losing Mum and hooked up with an old lover of mine. She said, I want to come and live here in Australia. She moved over here and I bought my first house in Lismore. Mum had sold our Seaview St house and bought a house in Ocean Shores that I never liked so when Mum died, I had no money and her house had been on the market for 5 years. Nothing was selling in Ocean Shores at that time. Someone had seen a course advertised in Sydney – Woodwork, building and construction for women, subsidised at Meadowbank Tafe full time. I moved to North Bondi and I did 4 days a week for 6 months out on a train to Meadowbank Tafe. It ended up being a mixed class. It was like Welcome back Kotter but I learnt construction.
I thought if I got an apprenticeship and learnt more I could do up Mum’s house on my own. I scored an apprenticeship with Huchinsons Builders at Kingscliff when I was 30. They were building the Mainwaring Apartments near Salt at Casuarina. It was all sand and there were 50 apartments being built. I worked on that for a year. I was the only woman on site. I used to call the team meetings. I watched the Plumbers, I watched everything and I collected all the scrap hardwood. Once I worked out that I knew enough, I quit.
I spent $5,000 and renovated Mum’s house and we sold it 2 months later for $150,000 more than it had been on for 5 years. My sister and I then had a bit of cash each so we went our own ways. I thought I would buy in Tasmania but it was f@#king freezing so I came back to my best friend Helen’s property in Main Arm. She had turned the milk shed into her humpy and right next door was the falling down butter churning shed which was very small. I had my van and my dog and asked her if her parents would let me turn it into my house. We asked John and Sylvia and they said absolutely, so I spent the next 6 months building my first little house and I’ve been doing that ever since. The house we’re in now here in Dorroughby is the house that I’ve wanted to build. It’s been an ongoing journey. I never really wanted a mortgage and my work ethic is more a life ethic.
When I met Marie she had lived out here in Dorroughby for 3 years when her daughter Maddie was only 5. At that time I had the James St house in Girards Hill. Marie had told me about the Holy Goat Ranch where she had been given life membership because she’s such a contributor. She brought me out here about 9 years ago and we walked around the whole property. I was happy to live here if we could negotiate to be up the top. It took 2 years to negotiate as the land was earmarked as a paddock for animals. Once Maddie had left school we moved here. We had sold Lismore, bought in Ballina, bought a little college on Macleay Island which was our weekender while we worked here then sold both. We slowly built and got rid of any debts and we have built a home that’s not connected to dirty power, it’s all rainwater on a chemical free community. It’s 80% recycled materials and 20% new. We have a great vegie garden, a citrus orchard, chooks in a cool little chook palace and we absolutely love it.
I was born Nicole Rose Pearson but I was never called Nicole. I was called Nikki. I grew up in a street with 15 boys and I loved it, climbing trees and slug guns. Byron Bay was so great with this crew. We all started surfing when we were 7. We had our little foamies stored down in the old Byron Surf Club. We would all go to the beach and we made rules where you were not allowed to touch the sand so we surfed over the whole of Byron and didn’t touch the sand once. Five hours later we’d be so burnt.
Transitioning was interesting because I was always attracted to women when I was little. I had a very open family so I never had to actually tell anyone that I was gay. I actually hated the idea of putting people in boxes so I never said anything. I remember when I was 23 I had a girlfriend in Auckland and her parents didn’t know their daughter was gay. I was like..You’re kidding me! I’d been seeing her for 3 months, coming to family dinners, staying downstairs with her and then they found out and I was barred. I wasn’t allowed at the house anymore and that’s the first time I experienced homophobia. I remember ringing my Mum up and I was so angry. I felt so judged and I said to my Mum…Did I ever tell you I was gay? (laughs) and she said…I knew when you were 6. I said…How? She said, you came home from school and told me you were changing your name to David.”