“ I was born in New Delhi. Delhi was a more liveable place than it is now. It’s an ancient city with an incredible history. The population has exploded since I was a little kid. We were lucky to have grown up in an area full of gardens and parks. We stayed out playing with kids until dusk. I had a great childhood with lots of love, play and affection. I think that still sustains me now.
I have 3 older sisters and I am the only son. My parents still live in Delhi – Dad is 95 and Mum is 85! We were not rich but our parents tried best to meet our needs. My family isn’t really religious but they celebrate the festivals which are many in Hinduism. It was pomp and show at the temples, colours, fairs and incredible food. all different for different festivals. The festivals were magical to me as a child. Every month we were celebrating something. I fully enjoyed it all. Even now, every
year I go back to celebrate Diwali, the festival of lights, with my parents. It was a promise I made to them decades ago to be with them on this day so they don’t have to celebrate on their own.
I was good academically at school. After high school I completed an under-grad degree at Delhi University in Computer Science. It was quite an achievement because we were the first batch of
students who graduated from Delhi Uni in Computer Science. It was early days of computers! I wanted to do more so I decided to go overseas for studies. In 1989 I came to Australia at the age of
20. It was not an easy task as it was hard for my parents to provide even the cost of the trip. I only had $800 in my pocket and I knew that I could not count on any more. From here on it was up to me.
I was studying in Perth and I realised the course wasn’t at my level. I was studying full time and lived quite poorly with other students. I worked very hard and did whatever jobs I could get to save money. Mostly this was cleaning – offices and toilets in the evenings and malls and escalators at night! I couldn’t tell my family what I was doing as it would have been considered not respectable. However, I was creating my own notions of respectability.
The money I saved allowed me to enrol in the Graduate Diploma in Computer Science in Victoria University in Melbourne. I continued to study hard and work small jobs. I got the top marks in Grad Dip and the university gave me a scholarship to do my Masters. I also did the best in the Masters which then resulted in a scholarship for PhD and a job as a senior tutor. I was elated but it was also daunting to get up and teach grad students, almost the same age as me!
I was starting to yearn for something more than academia after so many years studying. The opportunity came from Monash University. The Computer centre were looking for someone to
write their handbook. This was 1994. I wrote the handbook which was very well regarded by students and academics. I then got a job managing their main computers. The handbook had a life
of its own and was picked up by a start up from USA. They head hunted me to work for them which started my career in the corporate world. I stayed with them for 5 years and had local and
international assignments to Auckland, Bangkok and even PNG!
In PNG, my camera saved my life! In those days, Port Moresby used to have a curfew from 8pm to 6am. It was a Saturday morning so my colleagues and I decided to visit the national museum. We parked in the carpark which was empty and I started walking towards the gallery doors. I saw this guy hacking at the bushes with a machete so I thought he was a gardener working. My 2 other colleagues were behind me. Suddenly my colleagues yelled Deepak watch out! I turned around and
saw this guy bearing down on me with the machete about to attack me. I made a dash but slipped on the gravel surface. I had my camera in my hand and I threw it at him. He ran off with my Canon camera but it saved my life.
It was in Melbourne; I came to terms with my sexuality as a gay man. It was not an easy decision to realise given the stigma attached to it in India. I thought I could count on my sister for support who had been living in USA for decades however that was a big mistake. She outed me to my parents. I rushed back to Delhi and spent an awful 3 weeks trying to placate my parents. It was a very traumatic time. It has taken me years to create a fragile relationship with my parents and it continues to be fraught. I love my parents and despite the complexities, visit them every year.
Meanwhile I gave my homophobic Trump-supporting Republican sister 25 years to realise her mistake or even apologise. I continued to be civil to her as my parents love her the most out of us all and I wanted to keep the peace in the family. However, I can no longer tolerate her arrogance and meanness. We do not speak to each other anymore. I am very lucky to have two other sisters who are wonderful, compassionate and very supportive. They love my partner- Luke. In 2019, Luke came with me to Delhi to meet my family. It was a wonderful healing time.
From Melbourne I moved to Sydney in mid 90s. The year 2000 was an important year for me. I met a lovely man; David and we had a great life together. Also, in 2000, life presented another
wonderful work opportunity. I started work with a telecommunications multinational. I had a wonderful career with them. I moved from technical area into Human Resources which I loved. I had challenging but rewarding senior HR roles which allowed me to live and experience so much in the world! I worked as the HR Director in Japan, I managed South East Asia (Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Myanmar, Cambodia) and I had other Asia Pacific roles. In 2009 I became a global director and
moved to Paris where I lived until 2013. The work was demanding but I loved it all and was very happy. I got to live in some amazing places and travel the world. It was fantastic experience. I made
lifelong friends. However, there was a price to pay and my relationship with David fell apart after 11 years. It was a very difficult time. In 2013 my career with the multinational came to an end as the company was sold.
I came back to Sydney to pack up and move to Europe however life, again had other ideas. This is when I met my gorgeous man, Luke. I was living in Surry Hills and we met at the local gym
and went for a cup of chai. We had so much in common – art, travel, books, cooking, music and so much more! Luke is an amazing artist. We started seeing each other but it was nothing serious. I had a house in Alexandria and my tenants were moving out. On a hunch, I asked Luke to move in with me and the rest is our history! Relationships are complex things but we were both at a stage where we could bring our unique selves to the relationship and we knew what we wanted.
Luke and I have been very happy since we met – we know this is it for us and feel so lucky every day! When we met, Luke was already over big cities. I always thought of myself as an urban dweller having lived and enjoyed so many cities around the world and in Australia. However, again, life was about to show me something else! Luke and I came to Lismore for the 2014 new year. It was my first trip to Lismore and my first Tropical Fruits. We came and stayed at a friend’s house. I had the
best time and absolutely loved the house we stayed in and Lismore itself. Lismore had a great vibe, was multicultural and diverse and unlike other Australian regional towns. It had a great cafe culture; it was accepting and it was wonderful to see that regional Australia was celebrating 30 years of Tropical Fruits. Not even main cities celebrate something like that so it was all very positive. The house was an amazing 140-year-old weatherboard with beautiful features and a lush garden. I fell in love with it.
Life went on and we decided to return to Lismore for the New Year 2018. We stayed again with our friend. At this point I said to our friend that we would be interested in buying his place if he was ever to sell! And he did! By mid-2018 we had bought the house. We both decided it was the right time for our tree change. We made the big move from Sydney and have not looked back. We could not be happier. Lismore has taken me back to my childhood when I was closer to nature and I love that. We have a beautiful garden and we renovated the grand old dame! We have two adorable little dogs – Ramu and Rocky that keep us entertained. We have a truly wonderful, caring community and many friends in Lismore. Luke’s loving family is also much closer to us in Lismore.
So here we are! There is so much more I could bore you with the details of my life however I will stop now. I feel grateful for my life. Thank you for reading.”