“As a little fella I grew up in Redfern and Surry Hills. I remember being at Redfern public School from Kindergarten to the end of year 2 and we had a thing called Corroboree Day where we learned about the Dreamtime. Parts of Aboriginal folklore were literally woven into our school curriculum.
Just before I turned 8 my parents split up and I went to live with my Grandma Janine, my fathers mum. She lived in Lethbridge Park which is a suburb of Mt Druitt so I went from inner city beautiful which I didn’t really appreciate till I landed in Lethbridge Park. It sounds posh but it’s not at all. I went to Noumea Primary School while living there. People who don’t know where it is think I went to school in New Caledonia. At that school they had Colonial Day. I didn’t know about race or colour difference until I moved to Mt Druitt. The first thing people made fun of was the way I spoke. I remember saying to my Grandma, Why do people talk like that? She said Like what? I said like Sumfin! I also learnt quickly through my 8 year old eyes that my Grandma was a fish out of water. She moved out there from Maroubra with her tribe of kids. It was that era in the late 60’s where they were doing the big housing estates in Western Sydney deemed as this housing utopia.
I had a very difficult time at school. Primary school was ok but then I hit Plumpton High School which is between Rooty Hill and Mount Druitt. I was called faggot on the first day of year 7 and for the next 4 years I copped a lot of homophobia. This was at a time where I didn’t even know what I was or who I was. I knew I was different. I went through puberty early and I was having feelings for other guys at quite a young age. I never thought what I was thinking or feeling was wrong and then I hit high school and to be confronted with that experience was shocking. I’m still dealing with the repercussions of it.
I’m a twin and my twin and I were kept in separate classes in primary school. Part of the custody arrangement for some reason and I don’t know whether it was my father or mother that stipulated it but they thought Erica and I played off each other too much so we were kept apart. My Grandmother adhered to it. I think she regrets that happening. We’ve spoken about it and it’s all fine now but to this day I wonder what it would have been like to have Erica in my classes with me. We even went to separate high schools.
My father was a heroin addict and I remember coming home from school and mum wasn’t there. I remember my Grandma’s turning up and taking Erica, myself and my brother Justin on a holiday. Neither Grandma had room for all 3 kids so Justin went to live with Grandma Elsie, Mum’s mum and Erica and I went to Grandma Janine. For many years I didn’t hear from my parents and it’s only the last 7 years I have started to connect properly with my mum. Something I never thought would happen. Mum wasn’t into smack like my dad was and my fathers drug use was common knowledge in my family. When I was removed from that situation I got to see it for what it was and as beautiful, intelligent and creative my dad was, he was also quite abusive.
I remember being in a very tumultuous relationship at the age of 23 and this tape played over in my head about my mum not being able to save my dad. I couldn’t save the guy I was with who had a drug problem. It was a lightbulb moment where I understood my mum. She was 27 with 3 kids when this was going on. Not long after she left she got involved with another fella and had two more kids.
The biggest thing for me was she never stayed in touch so it created this divide. I bumped into one of my brothers when I was about 27 and he had no idea who I was and didn’t know he had other siblings. We sort of felt like the dirty secret. That was hard. Through my mum becoming a Grandma a lot of wounds from the past have been healed. I love watching her interact with my niece and nephew now.
Mum became sick about 5 years ago with brain tumours. That was a turning point for both of us as far as true forgiveness and compassion. I spent 2 weeks with her. She was in the throes of chemo and she was as weak as a kitten but she was cooking me dinner, we were watching movies together, playing music and having a really nice time. It felt like the first time really as an adult that we connected.
Grandma Janine and my dad were living together before he passed away. Years of heavy drugs took its toll physically and mentally on my dad and he had severe Bi-Polar disorder. I remember going to visit Grandma in previous years and she was always jovial and into music but when I saw her she was sitting white knuckled on the couch. She told me she was offered a house in Armidale but was worried about leaving my father behind. Here I was, his child telling her there comes a time when all men must leave the nest. Just go! I watched 15 years or so melt off my Grandma when she moved. All of a sudden she was doing aqua aerobics, part of the quilting and knitting group. She’s also embraced technology so she’s on Facebook and we can connect that way as well. My Grandma has formed a big part of who I am.”
Just before I turned 8 my parents split up and I went to live with my Grandma Janine, my fathers mum. She lived in Lethbridge Park which is a suburb of Mt Druitt so I went from inner city beautiful which I didn’t really appreciate till I landed in Lethbridge Park. It sounds posh but it’s not at all. I went to Noumea Primary School while living there. People who don’t know where it is think I went to school in New Caledonia. At that school they had Colonial Day. I didn’t know about race or colour difference until I moved to Mt Druitt. The first thing people made fun of was the way I spoke. I remember saying to my Grandma, Why do people talk like that? She said Like what? I said like Sumfin! I also learnt quickly through my 8 year old eyes that my Grandma was a fish out of water. She moved out there from Maroubra with her tribe of kids. It was that era in the late 60’s where they were doing the big housing estates in Western Sydney deemed as this housing utopia.
I had a very difficult time at school. Primary school was ok but then I hit Plumpton High School which is between Rooty Hill and Mount Druitt. I was called faggot on the first day of year 7 and for the next 4 years I copped a lot of homophobia. This was at a time where I didn’t even know what I was or who I was. I knew I was different. I went through puberty early and I was having feelings for other guys at quite a young age. I never thought what I was thinking or feeling was wrong and then I hit high school and to be confronted with that experience was shocking. I’m still dealing with the repercussions of it.
I’m a twin and my twin and I were kept in separate classes in primary school. Part of the custody arrangement for some reason and I don’t know whether it was my father or mother that stipulated it but they thought Erica and I played off each other too much so we were kept apart. My Grandmother adhered to it. I think she regrets that happening. We’ve spoken about it and it’s all fine now but to this day I wonder what it would have been like to have Erica in my classes with me. We even went to separate high schools.
My father was a heroin addict and I remember coming home from school and mum wasn’t there. I remember my Grandma’s turning up and taking Erica, myself and my brother Justin on a holiday. Neither Grandma had room for all 3 kids so Justin went to live with Grandma Elsie, Mum’s mum and Erica and I went to Grandma Janine. For many years I didn’t hear from my parents and it’s only the last 7 years I have started to connect properly with my mum. Something I never thought would happen. Mum wasn’t into smack like my dad was and my fathers drug use was common knowledge in my family. When I was removed from that situation I got to see it for what it was and as beautiful, intelligent and creative my dad was, he was also quite abusive.
I remember being in a very tumultuous relationship at the age of 23 and this tape played over in my head about my mum not being able to save my dad. I couldn’t save the guy I was with who had a drug problem. It was a lightbulb moment where I understood my mum. She was 27 with 3 kids when this was going on. Not long after she left she got involved with another fella and had two more kids.
The biggest thing for me was she never stayed in touch so it created this divide. I bumped into one of my brothers when I was about 27 and he had no idea who I was and didn’t know he had other siblings. We sort of felt like the dirty secret. That was hard. Through my mum becoming a Grandma a lot of wounds from the past have been healed. I love watching her interact with my niece and nephew now.
Mum became sick about 5 years ago with brain tumours. That was a turning point for both of us as far as true forgiveness and compassion. I spent 2 weeks with her. She was in the throes of chemo and she was as weak as a kitten but she was cooking me dinner, we were watching movies together, playing music and having a really nice time. It felt like the first time really as an adult that we connected.
Grandma Janine and my dad were living together before he passed away. Years of heavy drugs took its toll physically and mentally on my dad and he had severe Bi-Polar disorder. I remember going to visit Grandma in previous years and she was always jovial and into music but when I saw her she was sitting white knuckled on the couch. She told me she was offered a house in Armidale but was worried about leaving my father behind. Here I was, his child telling her there comes a time when all men must leave the nest. Just go! I watched 15 years or so melt off my Grandma when she moved. All of a sudden she was doing aqua aerobics, part of the quilting and knitting group. She’s also embraced technology so she’s on Facebook and we can connect that way as well. My Grandma has formed a big part of who I am.”