“Things went crazy for a while. I was gambling heavily. I was really bad. I was doing speed, a bit of coke and heaps of pot, trips, etc. I left Wollongong when I was 28. I had 2 really destructive relationships with women, several fantastic dalliances but I thought if I don’t get out of here I am going to kill myself…literally.
I worked at a motel for a while and was a victim of armed robbery. A husband and wife team managed the motel. The husband was going away for the weekend and asked if I would stay to do breakfasts and keep his wife company. She was a fair bit older than me. It was Sunday afternoon and we were sitting in the office. The front bell went and in walked 3 blokes in balaclavas with knives.
I went out first, then Claire came out. The dog was going mental. They pushed us into the back office, screaming at Claire to open the safe. She was freaking out and I’m saying, just open the safe Claire. They were yelling at us to shut the dog up or they would kill it. The dog was Claires baby so she was terrified. She couldn’t open the safe due to shaking so much so I got it open and gave them the contents. They taped up our mouths and wrists and ankles. They kicked the dog several times. When they left I manoeuvred myself over to hit the panic button. Claire’s son was the security guard and when he arrived he was beside himself. He was taking the tape off his Mum and because she was older her skin ripped as well. Her face was a mess. It was so full on. Not long after that it was time for me to go.
I was still gambling and drinking very heavily. I owed money and I’d pissed 2 businesses up against the wall basically. Eventually I paid back the money I owed and I got a payout for victims of crime which bought me a car.
I moved up to Coolangatta with a girl and we opened a bead shop called Strung out Beads. It was a fabulous business but she was not a fabulous person. I was off the drugs but still gambling a bit. As the relationship deteriorated the drinking and gambling increased. I left her, went back and then a friend helped me get away again.
Twenty-three and a half years ago I met Beth, the woman of my dreams while I was doing a display in the shop window. She decided she liked what she saw in the shop window. She came in to say G’day. We were mates at first for about 18 months. One day I was really upset and crying. She leaned over and gave me a kiss and that was it. We got married 22 years later on the anniversary of that day, the 7th December when it was legal. We never dreamed that it would get through so we never spoke about it. We considered ourselves married. We owned a house in Terranora which we hadn’t sold but we’d already bought a property in Kyogle so we were actually living apart but seeing each other often when the Yes vote came through. Beth rang me and said, will you marry me? We always thought if the Yes vote came through it wouldn’t make any difference to us but we were both so emotional and crying on the phone.
We bought 5 acres in Edenville just outside Kyogle. There was nothing on it except a fence when we bought it. We built a shed and put a camper trailer inside the shed so we were safe and dry. We sold the house and slowly brought our belongings over. We did nearly 2 years in the shed with no running water. We had a tap on the camper but we were showering outside with the bucket and the sack we’d sit in the sun all day to heat the water. We lived through the wildest storms. One storm was so severe Beth nearly lost her fingers when a door blew off. It was dark and when she touched me I felt the wet from the blood pouring from her hand. We drove to the hospital and luckily they saved her fingers.
We found the most amazing builder to build the house that we designed ourselves. Beth and I were there from the ground up helping build our home with the builder and his apprentice. The only thing we didn’t touch was the outside roof as the builder wouldn’t let us up there. We learnt so much. We had a couple of steer that we sold them the price of beef went up. We bought 2 little heifers and we’ve almost finished our cow shed. A kind lady in Casino gave us baths, fencing and other stuff we needed to build our sheds. The house is finished now and we are off grid. We have a huge deck and we love it. Beth and I are Bill and Ben. I just couldn’t think of life without her. Beth has 2 kids, Terri who’s down in Melbourne and she’s absolutely beautiful and hopefully moving up next year. Josh and his wife Lisa live at Nerang with our grandson who is just turning 11. They are great humans.
I also make jewellery and I do silversmithing and I’ll put my hand to build just about anything. I was lucky when I left school and walked into a job that turned out to be a dream career in food. There were lot’s of down, shitty times but life is good. I was still gambling when Beth and I were first together and I finally fessed up. It’s really hard. I found out you could exclude yourself from premises by filling out forms. So places you go to regularly to gamble you can exclude yourself. I went to some counselling which wasn’t great but they put me onto this Priest who I went to twice a week for 5 months. Eventually we weaned off the visits and I didn’t need to see him anymore. It’s not always gambling that’s the problem, it’s something else that triggers. It’s just an escape from something you’re not dealing with. He was really good. The fact that I could go to a Priest of all things, for me, in my frame of mind, but he was the best thing ever and such a nice dude. I never get the urge anymore and haven’t for 20 years. I think its because I’m happy in here (touches her heart).
I work now at Fundies in Lismore as Assistant Manager and I absolutely love it. The more I get to know Lismore the more I love it. We had dinner at The Spotted Pig the other night and it was so good we had one of everything on the menu. Lismore has some great food places. We just need to get some chooks and the veggie patch going. I feel settled. We’re not going anywhere. This is us.”